


Enigma

by lavenderblossom



Category: The Halcyon (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, gets angsty but stuff is resolved, it's just kind of an exploration of character, kind of ambiguous really, or happy-ish, still hope you like it!, there's not really a proper plot to this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 16:58:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11257080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderblossom/pseuds/lavenderblossom
Summary: To Adil Joshi, Toby Hamilton was an enigma.





	Enigma

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first fic for this fandom (I literally wrote this at 1 am so this is a result of my sleep deprived and soppy brain) and only my second ever fic that I've written so sorry in advanced for any mistakes! I really love this show and wish I had found it sooner when the show was in it's prime. Sorry I'm a bit of a late one but hopefully you can all still accept me into your small fandom club :D

To Adil Joshi, Toby Hamilton was an enigma. He had watched the younger Hamilton brother for years from behind the bar, observing the young man from a far enough distance. Toby Hamilton was not the man Adil had expected him to be. He was not poised and cold like his father. He was not prim and proper like his mother. He was not boisterous and charming like his elder brother. No, Toby Hamilton was different. 

 

Adil spent numerous evenings trying to decipher the man. He had everything in the world presented to him on a silver platter, surrounded by endless women, champagne and wealth. Yet every evening he sat, alone and quiet in the corner of the dining hall, tucked behind a book, eyes never fleeing the pages. The Hamilton’s were the single most eligible bachelors in the area and yet, Toby seemed to not take the situation to his advantage. He would let his brother do the talking, approaching conversations with the fairer sex awkwardly and with a smile that wouldn’t quite reach his eyes. Toby Hamilton was truly a perfect mystery, beautiful and distant and everything Adil could not have.

 

The first time Adil talked to the younger Hamilton, his heart could not help but flutter. Up close, Toby was tenfold the beauty he was from a far. He was sharp cheekbones and piercing eyes, a perfect Adonis to be adored by all. His voice was smooth and warm, the kind of voice that could make you believe in the most impossible notions and unattainable desires. His laugh made Adil’s stomach turn and breath stop short, making his heart beat against his ribcage in a frantic and heavy rhythm that echoed in his ears. Toby Hamilton was fate’s cruel irony, something so close yet so far.

 

When Adil had kissed Toby for the first time in the dim light of the cellar, his entire world stopped. Toby’s lips were soft and pliant under his and for a moment, all was right. When the young Hamilton pulled away though, the warmth was gone. When he left with nothing but a shaky sigh and a panicked look, the world seemed to fall around Adil, collapsing and leaving the barman alone in the rubble. Toby Hamilton was truly unattainable, something only to exist in Adil’s dreams.

 

The second kiss however, had sent fire running through his veins. The only thing he could feel was Toby’s hands threaded through his hair and the way their lips slotted together perfectly. The kisses seemed to stretch on for years, Adil getting lost in the natural high of being with Toby. When they would lie together on the bed afterwards, they would laugh. It was the type of laughter that would send a warm buzz around Adil’s body, leaving him drunk on happiness. Toby would run his fingers over Adil’s face, tracing his profile in the lamp’s amber glow. Adil would simply lie there and stare back, mentally mapping the young man’s features, cataloging snapshots of freckled cheeks and the small quirk of his mouth. In these moments, Toby Hamilton was the very stars in the sky and the shimmer of the ocean under the warm sunlight.

 

Yet, Toby Hamilton was also may other things.

 

Toby Hamilton was also frantic breathing and silent tears, he was the ever growing and engulfing fear that one day they would be found out and arrested. The first time Toby had asked Adil to stay the night, the latter had awoke to Toby’s quiet sobs echoing through the room at two in the morning. Adil had held him close that night, running his hands through his hair and whispering sweet nothings in his ear to push away the dark thoughts. He lay there even after Toby’s sporadic breathing evened out, too afraid to leave what could still very well just be a dream. Those days, Toby Hamilton was sobs muffled into the pillow and shaky fingers running through hair. 

 

Occasionally, things would get too much and Toby Hamilton was loud shouting and hard shoves, he was angry words and bitter profanities. These truly bad days came when the fear grew strong and the darkness clawed its way inside. Toby would often go on and on about being found out, fear causing his speech to become quick and muddled, his hands gesturing wildly and fiercely tugging at his own hair. He would snap when Adil tried to calm him down, seething at the man in a cold and snappy tone. Adil knew that Toby never meant the harsh words but each name still stung like a sharp slap across his face and the ensuing silence was what often hurt the most. 

 

In the aftermath they would just sit there and wait, silently yearning for one another but too scared and too stubborn to say anything. The only sounds would be the ticking of the clock, incessantly drilling into Adil’s brain and punctuating the stagnant silence. He would nervously pick at the hangnails by his cuticles, plucking away at skin until the blood welled near his nails in small crimson pearls. He knew it was something he would later regret when he would cut limes at the bar but the feeble pain of stinging fingers was nothing compared to the slow ache of the tense silence in the hotel room. 

There would eventually come a time where the silence would become too much so Adil would stand up and begin to head to the door, only to be stopped by a hand on his wrist. He would turn to see Toby Hamilton. 

 

_His_ Toby Hamilton, who was perfect lines and gentle smiles but also red-rimmed eyes and trembling hands. Who was charming words and timeless suave but also hiccuped sobs and calloused fingers. 

 

Adil would try and smile then, gently caressing the formers’s face in his hands and wiping away tear tracks with his thumb. Slowly, the tension would thaw and the younger Hamilton would shakily smile back. He would gently rest his forehead against Adil’s and thread their fingers together and for a moment, the world would stop. The buzz of the hotel and Betsey’s singing would fade away into silence and everything would come to a standstill. Those were the moments that Adil wishes he could live in forever, where the joy just about outweighed the pain and Adil truly believed that soulmates existed. These days, Toby Hamilton was imperfect perfections and bittersweet actions. 

 

As the seasons changed and the months went on, Toby Hamilton was no less of a puzzle. The two of them were not perfect and were both fully aware that any day now, either of them could die. A bomb could drop on them and everything they had created together would be destroyed in the blink of an eye. The biggest fear is that one would be left without the other and that anything they would have left would be destroyed in the explosion. 

Yet more often than not, Adil found that he did not care. Adil Joshi lived for the now, for the whispered conversation in the dark of the blackout, for the fleeting touches at the bar or in the cellar, for the way Toby’s eyes lit up when they met each other’s gazes from across the room. 

 

Adil Joshi lived for the adventure that was loving Toby Hamilton, an enigma that would take nothing short of a lifetime to solve. 


End file.
